Love, Documented
by manhattan martini
Summary: "This is not about love; I am not in love." — KentoAyane
1. someone says something too soon

**A/N:** I love Ayane—she's my favourite character—and I love this underrated pairing. In the face of recent Pin/Ayane hints in the manga, I thought that maybe I could satisfy my Kento/Ayane urges with a fic. But then chapter 59 happened and I was not satisfied with just one one-shot. Disregard canon rape and enjoy this character study with romance hints, if you'd please! :)

**Pairings:** Kento/Ayane, Kazehaya/Sawako, Ryu/Chizuru, Pin/Kurumi, slight Pin/Ayane

* * *

><p><strong>01. <strong>**開始一致****  
><strong>_Match Start_

Ayane keeps a journal.

No one knows about it, and for good reason—it's a diary about other people. She's had it since her first year, so most of the pages are about Sawako and Shōta or Chizu and Ryu. But sometimes, she amuses herself with Jou's amorous failures and the flicker of a hate-love relationship between Pin and Ume (who would probably kill her if she knew Ayane uses her first name when she thinks of her).

And it goes smoothly. Smoothly as can be when it comes to high school romances. No one understands she knows everything that there is to know about flirting and crushing, which makes her job easier. Plus, Sawako is oblivious and Chizu is… well, stupid, so there is no one to hinder her. But in her second year, the gears shift. She comes to realise that _maybe_ there will be a repeat of the Ume vs. Sawako incident as soon as Miura and Sawako raise their hands at the same time. She comes to be sure of that once his eyes linger on her for more than three seconds. She starts to dislike him when he starts teaching her how to smile.

Ayane crosses her legs, stares at the blonde until Math class is over, and starts planning.

* * *

><p>Miura Kento is popular, handsome, and boldly honest. Miura Kento is her kind of guy—or he would be, if he wasn't an idiot trying to weasel his way between Sawako and Shōta. It makes her mad to think that he's trying to destroy the purest relationship she's ever had the pleasure of witnessing. It makes her even madder to think that he's trying to break apart the two people who are best made to each other. Doesn't he know that he's sinking her ship?<p>

One day, after the last class, she corners him when he's leaving class.

"Stop interfering."

He plays it suave, even smiles. It's a nice smile, but Ayane has dated boys like him before, and she catches the hollowness in his eyes. It's a nice counterfeit of a grin, but it doesn't reach her level. She smiles back at him, and doesn't even try to disguise her contempt.

"What are you talking about, Yano-san?"

She steps forward, but Miura doesn't step back. _The gall of him!_

"You know what I'm talking about. What do you think you're doing, hitting on Sawako?"

He whistles. "You sure don't beat around the bush." Looking down on her, he's too close for comfort, and Ayane can't help but to take an unconscious step back. _Shit_. Miura smiles. "You're really my type, you know?"

Ayane hates herself for faltering, but deeply enjoys the surprise on his face when he notices she isn't blushing.

"Two can play this game, Kent."

She walks away from him.

* * *

><p>One thing she notices is that lots of boys fall in love with Sawako's smile. First there is Mr. Lively, Shōta himself, and then there is Miura, who she has seen dating girls much prettier than TV idols. He might fool everyone else, but Ayane knows that he had his eyes set on Ume, as well. <em>Too bad she's head over heels with Shōta, <em>Ayane thinks, and grins predatorily.

The truth is:

Ayane likes to think of herself as pretty (because she knows she is), but she's the kind of pretty that attracts handsome creeps and pretty, mean perverts. Older men like to have young girls, and it's not her fault that her lips are too pursed, or that her face is too wise for her age. But Sawako? Sawako _really_ hits people. Sawako is the light to the moths that are nice high-school boys. Because, deep down, Ayane knows that Miura is not a bad guy. He's severely misunderstood, and he is used to girls who chase after his wallet, his popularity, and his good-looks, which explains a lot about his point of view on girls (plus, he knew _Ume_, so he's used to being preyed on…).

She sighs. It makes her sick, but in the end, Miura and she are the same: capital lettered Cynics. She knows this, because rumours have a truth to them, and while she hasn't dated one hundred guys in middle school, she has dated at least thirty, most of them college boys, and she knows that most people are only looking to escape loneliness. If not that, then sex. Ayane doesn't know why, but everyone assumes she isn't a virgin; maybe it's her hostess face or maybe it's because she is used to skipping from one man to another. Or maybe it's because her maturity flashes in comparison to Chizu's tomboyish behaviour and Sawako's naiveté.

She wonders when love became uninteresting, and then remembers Sawako and Shōta, and breathes out a sigh of relief: there is still hope.

"I am not going to let you ruin them," she says to no one in particular. Two boys send her a look, and she feels her cheeks flush. Hanging out with Sawako is going to destroy her super-cool reputation one of these days …

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday: Miura was seen latching onto Sawako. Shōta is still not talking to anyone.<em>

She flips the page of her journal absently. Ayane makes it a point never to bring it to school, but these days there is so much activity that she can't help but to want to jot everything down. On one hand, there is Chizu and Ryu, who are getting closer to realising that they like each other, and on the other there is the wonderful love triangle between Shōta, Miura and Sawako. She draws a tiny heart on the lower corner of the page and looks around her. The classroom is empty, so she pulls out a mechanical pencil and writes _**get rid of Miura! **_She even makes it a point to underline it, harsh, until it's a dark, bold message in the end of the small page. It gives her a quiet sense of relief, and she doesn't know why.

She moves on; thinks harder.

The only plan she has to put in motion is … well, if Miura continues to put himself between Shōta and Sawako, then—wince—Ayane will put herself between Sawako and Miura. She's done stuff like this before, with Joe, so it can't possibly hurt. Except … She bites the top of her pencil and stares at her written exclamation. Except Miura isn't stupid and oblivious like Joe. Miura is smart, like a fox, and they are almost evenly matched. And after a while, Joe forgot about her and moved on to another girl; but Ayane doesn't know if Miura is enough of an idiot to forget about girls hitting on him.

Still, her protective instincts are maximized whenever Sawako is in danger, because … Chizu can take care of herself, but not Saw—

"What are you doing here, Yano?" _Shit!_ She slaps her notebook closed, and with a fluid motion, she slides it beneath her desk. Pin stares at her curiously from the door, walking in. "Don't tell me—did you come here to confess, too!"

"Are you crazy!" She resists the urge to gag. "Is Kurumi not enough for you?"

"You're the one who gave me chocolates for Valentine's Day," Pin retorts with the sleaziest smile she's even seen on his face, and Ayane feels something inside her die. Still, she can't help but to laugh alongside the homeroom teacher. "What are you still doing here, Yano? Did you really come to confess to me? I know I am incredibly handsome, but I cannot keep a forbidden love with one of my students. Move along, kid." He makes it a point to close his eyes and wave dramatically in her direction.

Ayane closes her bag snippily, putting the notebook and her pencil case inside, and rolls her eyes.

"_Baka kyōshi_," she snaps, but it's missing its usual afronted edge. _Stupid teacher._

Pin glances at her, all traces of amusement gone from his face, and taps his chin.

"Say, Yano. You always know everything about everyone—" she flushes red, feeling offended, but doesn't speak, "—so can you tell me what's going on with Shōta? Is he sick or something? Just the other day he even ignored me, even while I was calling him—" Ayane can admire Pin. His speed/words quotient is astounding, and Ayane thinks not even Chizu can speak that fast. Strike that—not even _she_ can speak that fast. But … Ayane leans against her table, crosses her arms. The strap of her bag slides down her shoulder and she doesn't even notice as she watches Pin fold into a concerned show over Shōta. "—do you think maybe Sadako cursed him or something, they haven't been hanging together for quite some time—"

"Shut up, you're annoying," Ayane says, and sighs. Rubs the bridge of her nose. "And you're oblivious, too."

Pin eyes her suspiciously, like he's afraid she's going to hit him. "What's _that_ 'mean?"

She shrugs, and smirks at him. He shivers and steps back when she gets up to leave; her work here is done.

"Hey! Yano!"

* * *

><p>At night, after Chizu emails her goodnight, and after she stops talking with her latest catch, she stares at her ceiling. She met a boy a few days ago, and he's nice, and fairly handsome, but in the beginning they all are. She reads the emails on her phone and feels a little upset. Whenever his name flashes on the screen of her phone, Ayane doesn't feel changed. She doesn't love him. She doesn't think he notices that, but then again, he's only after her because she's straight-forward … They all tend to.<p>

It's moments like these she analyses her love philosophy, when it's quiet and she can hear herself think.

The fact is, Sawako has changed her point of view regarding relationships. Ayane's first relationship, back in middle school, was docile and pallid. There were no fulminating blushes, no stutters, no fuss over holding hands. It was a usual confession ("do you want to go out?" "yeah, okay"), something meant to pass the time. Something meant to … show off to her friends, perhaps. But after that, she caught the flavour of a boyfriend, and she didn't want to let go. It felt good at the end of the day, to bid goodbye to her friends and have a guy walk you home, or have a guy hold your bag, or to simply … have a guy. And then Sawako and Shōta ruined everything.

They did. They ruined everything with their innocence, with their astonishing, overwhelming kind of love. It takes but a glance in Sawako's direction to know she has it bad. And … eugh, she can't believe she's thinking it but—even Ume. Even Ume was reduced to tears because of a failed love confession, and when Ayane thinks about all the confessions she turned down without a care, she kind of … feels a little bitter inside.

And when she thinks about Miura, who—supposedly—is so like her, she can't help but to feel a little jealous (even if he is the bad guy). _Why does he get to fall in love, and not me? What am I missing? _When her nightstand startles her with loud vibrations, she sits up and grabs her phone with expertise. She doesn't feel like reading "one new message from Taka Shōji", so she doesn't. Instead, she ignores the feeling of disappointment in her chest, and closes her eyes.

_Tomorrow is another day._

* * *

><p>Shōji is nice. He's taller than her, but not when she's wearing heels. His hair is a light-brown shade, and sometimes she catches herself wondering what it would look like if he dyed his hair blonde. That would attract too much attention, but he would look handsome. For all his good traits, he—however—is not boyfriend material. His movements are passionless, and she's the one who always talks to him when they are together. And more often than not, it falls apart like broken glass, and Ayane's the only one with the glue to piece the talk back together.<p>

"Would you like to do something today?" he asks.

Ayane stares at their intertwined hands, and the only thing she can think about is how sweaty his palms are. Ordinarily, she would not be bothered; ordinarily, she'd be focused on him instead of picking out unflattering details. Ordinarily, she would like to feel her heart go _doki doki _like in those stupid mangas. She would like to feel in love.

But Shōji doesn't comply. She wonders why she's the one trying, when he's the one who started talking to her.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy today. Maybe some other time."

* * *

><p>Miura is rude and bold, and sometimes Ayane drops her guard because sometimes, he can be <em>such<em> a _boy_.

"How have things been going with Shōji?"

She subtly chokes on her orange juice, momentarily looking away from Chizu, who looks as surprised as she does. She spits out the straw. _How does he—?_ She hasn't told anyone. Ayane doesn't make it a point to announce when she is in the verge of starting a relationship, and she doesn't like that people are aware of her dating. It's bad enough since she is too mature to be bothered with things like being a slut, because she is just having fun (and why can't people understand that, right?).

Chizu's eyes dart from him to her, and she—for once—seems to have realised something, because she gets up to go to the bathroom. Typical of her only to take a hint the wrong way; Ayane doesn't want to be left alone with this guy.

"How do you know about that? And how does it concern you?"

He sits next to her, occupying Chizu's seat.

"It doesn't concern me, I was just making conversation. I wasn't aware it was a secret." He smiles. "I heard it from him. He was in my class last year."

_Liar,_ Ayane thinks. _You were in Ume's class last year, and Shōji wasn't. Liar. Stop underestimating me._ Somehow she manages to smile brazenly at him and continues the conversation.

"Well, we've only been talking." He tried to kiss her a few days ago, but she turned her face away, unwilling to feed the false truth that she is as easy as they say. She looks around the classroom, disperses the curious looks from the Kento fanclub. The two girls who are enamoured with him know better than to mess with Yano Ayane. Ever since the rumour incident that Chizu and her have been deemed the queens of the eleventh year, and while Ayane doesn't know how that makes her feel, she knows it's a prestigious place.

She also knows that more people will talk about her, now. As evidently displayed by Miura. Ayane plays with the plastic straw, while Miura stares.

"Does that mean you're giving up on me and Sawako?"

She almost laughs. "Not at all."

The conversation ends when Chizuru returns from "the bathroom", because the bell rings, signalling the end of the lunch hour, but Ayane catches him staring at her more than once. Her notebook needs updating, because Miura is shooting in all directions, hoping to hit the target. The problem is he might hit something other than the target, and that's not good at all.

* * *

><p>She breaks off whatever she has with Shōji a few days after that conversation, and in the end she has to endure a sappy speech about her being an ice queen and an enabler. She remembers her ex-boyfriend, and for a second, she's actually kind of apprehensive that he will hit her. The empty classroom they are in when she dumps him doesn't offer any consolation, and she steps back when he starts talking louder. She doesn't want to have to walk around with a band-aid on her face again, because that is unfashionable and she doesn't need Pin asking if it was a guy from her class who hit her, again. But <em>above<em> _all_, she doesn't need Chizu's continuous pleads: _Just tell me who he is and I'll beat him up! I swear, Yano-chin, just tell me!_

"Shōji," Ayane warns, and frowns at him when he stares at her, face pink, eyes hurt.

The door slides open, and when she turns to look, it's Miura, looking as lost as a new-born puppy. His eyes catch onto her, and they are wearing a feeling she doesn't know how to describe. Shōji quiets down (surprised and realising he was acting like a jerk), apologizes, and walks out, even while Miura explains: _because he thought this classroom was empty, and maybe he left his notebooks here? Have they seen them?_

"Try looking in your bag," Ayane says. It's the only thing she can say to him before she walks out. Later, she would find that the feeling in his eyes was friendly concern. For her? But _why_? She's only been hindering him … She doesn't know why, but she feels a little guilty that she's tripping his attempts at a relationship with Sawako. A quick trip to the bathroom to take care of her makeup fixes that, and after a few minutes she's fine.

When she comes across him again, she only feels uneasy because of Shōta and Sawako. And a little pissed off, but can anyone blame her? The guy has that effect on people.

"Are you alright?" he asks her.

"I'll stop going easy on you," she replies, switching the conversation. It's almost a whisper, but her eyes are hard and they _mean it_. Sawako, from behind her, turns to look at her, curiosity on her demeanour, and Ayane shifts into an easy-going smile. "I thought I should let you know."

"What are you two talking about?" Sawako asks, shyly, like she's afraid that she's interrupting something.

"We should go karaokeing one of these days!" Miura replies, like a well-oiled lying machine. Pin stifles a boisterous laugh from his desk, eyes attentive on the trio, and Ayane remembers to mark him down on her notebook as a possible threat.

Ayane lets him be for the moment. In the future, she'll be bringing out the big guns.

Miura glances at her when he's done talking to Sawako, and nods in acknowledgement.


	2. with one small step upon the stairs

**A/N:** Chapter titles are from songs. Feel free to ignore those.

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><p><strong>02. <strong>**末尾にマッ****チ**  
><em>Match End<em>

It's almost kind of funny how light he takes her. Ayane knows that Miura doesn't know her that well, apart from exaggerated story tales about her "legendary" date streak, but it's still kind of funny. He doesn't think of her as a threat. Because after all, what can a girl do to avoid a love triangle, when she's not even in it? But it's ridiculously easy. All she needs to do is to plant the idea that Miura is dating someone else, and soon Sawako will make-up with Shōta (or vice-versa).

The hard part of the plan is to find the "someone else" of the equation, but when she thinks about it, she has half the student body to help her with it. Ayane dislikes relying on other females, because everyone knows girls are two-faced bitches, except for rare exceptions like Chizu and Sawako (and recently, Ume, who says everything that is on her mind with no qualms), but if it comes to that, then … The problem is that while he tries to strike only Sawako with his charms and his boyish good looks, he strikes everyone else as well; that's what's wrong with hitting all the targets he can get his eyes on.

She nibbles on her pencil. She's doing her weekly analysis of the class' relationship chart, instead of doing her homework, but she's extremely good at Math so it balances out in the end.

Shōta is starting to act as well, but it's still not enough, because Miura is too stubborn, and he firmly believes that Sawako can be his if he tries hard enough (a ridiculous notion, she jots down). And then there are Chizu and Ryu, who are more complicated than a knot—but she leaves that to later. It's spring, they are not going anywhere, and Miura is a more pressing matter.

Her phone rings. It's Sawako—asking her if maybe she wants to go somewhere. She can use smileys, now, and Ayane feels a sharp twang of pride when she reads her email. The day is warm, and it's only ten in the morning still, so Ayane invites her and Chizu to go visit her at her part-time. Chizu immediately agrees, because there will inevitably be free ramen involved, and Sawako agrees because she enjoys spending time with them.

Ayane dresses extra-nice, because she feels like it. She doesn't even put makeup, because for once she doesn't have to worry about anyone.

* * *

><p>It turns out Sawako can't go, and Chizu is running late. Ayane finishes her shift and stares at her locker. She got a lot of tips today, but it's only to be expected; boys like mini-skirts, and she's not bad to look at. Plus, the sea-side restaurant is full of people, which just means more money to her. She's been eyeing these cute boots lately, but they're <em>so<em> expensive …

"Ah! Ayane!"

Hindsight is such a bitch.

She stares, baffled. There are not many people who can make her feel self-conscious (except for stupid Ume and her stupid skin), but … she suddenly wishes she was wearing make-up. The beach is almost like Miura's natural habitat; he sparkles and he looks—dare she say it?—disturbingly handsome outside his school uniform. She can't help but to run a hand through her hair.

"Kent!" she says, genuinely surprised. She snaps her phone closed and puts it in her pocket. "What are you doing here?"

He points behind his back. "I came with some friends. I didn't expect to see you here? Did you come to swim? Ah! Are you maybe wearing a swimming suit, Ayane?"

"Swim? In the local waters?" She shakes her head, repulsed. "It's not even warm enough."

"Then, does Ayane maybe work here?" He gauges her reaction, and smiles openly. "I'll be sure to visit here more often! I can never see enough of my friends!"

They part ways soon enough, and there is a new wave of emotion surging through her. On one side, Kento—that is, Miura—can be surprisingly friendly and a good fellow, when he is not obsessing or plotting over Sawako. On another, he is starting to squeeze his way into her personal life, and Ayane isn't sure she likes it. Ryu and Shōta, who she deems as good friends, don't know where her part-time is, and Sawako didn't know until today. Yet, Miura, a colleague-cum-rival, does, and he tells her he'll visit more often. It makes her feel like a crappy friend. She sends them all an email inviting them to come meet her the next weekend, but she still feels strange.

Why is it that he has so much impact on her? Ayane dislikes people like him, but she can't help but to reassure herself, she can't help but to make sure that she doesn't like him. And why is that? Perhaps it's because she's growing soft on others; hanging out with Sawako opens her eyes to different states of forgiveness, and Ume can testify to that. But Miura is different. If not for Sawako, he wouldn't even talk to her. While Ume spread out lies about Ayane, therefore giving her an excuse to dislike her, Miura doesn't have anything to do with her.

Except that Ayane can't overlook his meddling. _Ah, Sawako, what have you done to me?_

* * *

><p>It's only the following Monday that she realises that Miura is calling her by her first name. She doesn't quite know how that makes her feel. In truth, it makes her feel a little annoyed. She doesn't like it when people overrate their friendship with her—and then again, aren't they rivals at the moment? Ayane knows that in another universe, the two of them would be dating by now, but in this universe they are limited to a friendly rivalry when it comes to Sawako. Besides, Ayane has revaluated her decisions regarding dating.<p>

He calls almost everyone she hangs out with by their first names (except for "Kazehaya" and "Sanada", which is amusing to watch). Chizu frowns at him, but doesn't say anything when he calls her Chizuru, and Ayane is almost thrilled when Ryu sends the boy a warning look from underneath his baseball cap. And it's when Miura gets up from his seat to talk to Sawako, who's picking up her coat from the end of the room, that she makes the first attack.

"Kent-san," she calls, and he stops, turns his head. "What is it with you calling everyone by their first names?"

He stares at her, realises what she's doing. He's so smart; she feels satisfied with not winning so easily. The problem is he can't help but to respond. He's popular, she's scandalous, and they are a good match together. All of that plays in her favour, and suddenly half the class is watching. He can't afford to blow her off if he wants to stay popular, and he steals a glance at Sawako, only to find that she's already out the door, chatting animatedly—or as animatedly as she can—with Chizu and Ryu. Ayane decides to congratulate Chizu later, for successfully stealing away Sawako, but now …

"I just think calling a girl by her name directly is … the most basic thing for a man." He puts a bag strap over his shoulder. "But isn't that what you're doing too, Ayane?"

"But that's different." She bars down his attempts to get away. He can still reach Sawako if he tries; she needs more time. "After all, you introduced to us as Kento, and Kent is a nickname. Like Kurumi." Ayane smiles. "I don't think it's very polite of you to call a girl by her first name, when you don't know her well enough."

He seems to contemplate.

"But, don't I know you well enough, Ayane?"

"I would think you hardly know anything about me, Kent-san." She's already struggling to keep an even tone. What starts out as a distraction is suddenly a discussion, and she's attracting the eyes of everyone who stayed behind in the classroom. _This won't do at all…_ "Anyway, it was a nice chat, but I need to head home now, so—"

"Call me Kent, and I'll walk with you."

She fumbles with the zipper of her bag. Caught unaware.

"Ahh? Okay, I guess …" Ayane can't help but to look at him funny, because, what is he planning after all? When she walks past the door, Miura in tow, she listens to the concerned whispers of his two-people fanclub, and understands: _I thought he was … but … are they really dating? … Didn't they just have an argument? … I think they match …_ "Ah, I see. How clever of you."

"What is?"

"Trying to get rid of your fanclub while you try to find out what makes me dislike you." She throws her hair over her shoulder and has to look up to meet his eyes (_…tall…)_. Ordinarily, she would not be so bold with someone she knows for only a month, but at the moment she can't care less. "You do know you're getting no information from me, right?"

"I just wanted to be friendlier with you." Bullshit. "Besides, I wanted to know if everything was alright with you. I'm aware that you are no longer talking to Shōji."

Ayane pointedly keeps a blank face. "Yeah? What's it to you?"

He mocks a fatal wound to his heart, and she has to stop to look. They're in the middle of a corridor, and she can only hope no one decides to walk by. Her reputation has taken enough blows today, seriously.

"Ayane! You hurt me so. Can't you just smile for once and talk to me like I'm a friend?"

"But you are not a friend. Not a very good one, at least." She starts to walk again, and he follows immediately. If there is one thing that bothers her is to walk side-by-side with a taller boy, because her brain immediately makes the assumption that it's her boyfriend she's talking to, and she lets her guard down. That's why Ayane hardly ever walks with anyone but Shōta or Ryu. She finds herself wondering if he's taller than her while she's wearing heels. She comes to the conclusion that he most likely is. Shit.

"Ah-_ha!_ That means I am a bad one, which means that at least I'm a friend, now. Even if not a very good one—"

"Are you stupid?" She rolls her eyes, but smiles.

* * *

><p>Ayane hates that he finds a way to worm into everyone's heart. Chizu is on pretty good terms with him (for someone who just two days ago wanted to beat him up for interfering), and sometimes she has to kick Shōta for him to remember that Miura is his greatest enemy. She doesn't know how he manages to <em>forget<em> something like that, but…

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Stop talking to him like you're best friend, you trait—"

Miura pulls her away from Kazehaya; he's blushing somewhat, staring at the three boys behind him.

"What are you_ doing?"_ Ayane demands, hissing. She doesn't pull back her arm from his hand; he's warm and his fingers are too tight around her forearm, she knows she isn't going anywhere. It's moments like these that she remembers that, despite everything, Miura is still a boy. And she's not Chizu (who despite all, still turns pliable in Ryu's hands).

"You shouldn't keep kicking people," he says. He's not smiling, and he's avoiding her eyes.

"As long as I don't kick you, I don't see what the problem is!" She tries to steal her arm back, but he doesn't let go. It's probably the first time she's seen him so conflicted over something, and Ayane knows that if a bold person has trouble spitting out whatever it is they're trying to spit out … it's troubling. He's staring at the floor. His cheeks are still red and somehow she thinks that he looks nice when he is acting like a regular young boy. _How … repulsive to think that … _"What is it?"

"Well—I just—I can, uh, I can see your underwear when you do that."

* * *

><p>Ayane stops kicking people.<p>

She tells herself it's because it bothers her that other boys can see her underwear, but … that's never quite bothered her before. She wonders why it's annoying to think that other people can see her panties all of a sudden, because that's a relatively new subject. It's never been a sore point for her, because it's just underwear anyway, it's the same as wearing a bathing suit, but … But, what?

_Miura, you inconsiderate shithead._

She writes about his stupidity so much she wastes three leads. And then she feels stupid for overreacting.

She needs to get a boyfriend again. All this free time is messing with her head. But then she remembers all the disappointment and she just shakes her head; forgets about that.

* * *

><p>There comes a point in her life when Chizu turns to her and asks—meekly—if Ayane is thinking about dating Miura. It's after Shōta's failed confession that she asks. Because, things are composing, things are driving back into its rails, so maybe Yano-chi has been thinking about him.<p>

Ayane thinks Chizu is _crazy_. Ayane tells her that this is the hardest part for Sawako. If everything goes wrong now, then last year will have been for naught.

"What we need to do is to keep Kent away from Sawako, understand?" Chizu nods obediently. "Because Sawako and Kazehaya need to work their issues, and they can only do it if Kent is not there to ruin everything! You see, the problem is that Kent thinks Kazehaya doesn't like Sawako back, and … Sawako refuses to believe that Kazehaya likes her—" Ayane breathes in and groans. "How can people be so infuriating? Isn't it obvious that they like each other? What is the matter with this school!"

"Yano-chin, calm down!"

She does.

Ayane eases back into her seat, finishes her _melonpan_ and stares at the classroom. She feels fat, and blames Chizu.

Sawako's seat and Kazehaya's seat … are both empty. Miura is still there, though. He looks as if he wants to get up and patrol the school, as if he wants to find Sawako. _Shit. That won't do._

"Ah, Kent! I haven't talked to you today!" She gets up, pulls Chizu along with her, and gathers around his table, cutting his access to freedom. Chizu stares at him, then at her, and bites down on her second _nikuman_, munching thoughtfully. "So, have you worked things out with Um—that is, Kurumi?"

Miura blinks, and then runs a hand across his cheek, wincing. The slap incident is still fresh in their minds; after all, it's been but two or three hours. They are still in school, because they are helping with the classroom café, and Miura hasn't really said anything. They're almost done, and when Ayane looks around, she finds Sawako walking inside with a pile of large books in her arms. Chizu makes to go meet her, but Ayane pulls her back, and sends her A Look.

"Well, I apologized to her after …" he says. His voice is lacking its usual enjoyment. It seems weak of her, but she almost pities Miura. When she thinks of his point-of-view, it's all a big incomprehensive mess: Miura thought Sawako's love was unrequited; Miura thought he had a shot as long as Sawako stopped looking only at Shōta, but it was decided long before he even started hanging out with her. "But I don't think she really accepted it. She's such a tsundere," he adds, and laughs. Chizu laughs with him, and her laughter is much more joyous when in comparison to his.

"Chizu," Ayane says, softly, "I think I need to talk to Kent. Do you mind?"

"Ah? No," she replies immediately, and walks away, goes to meet Ryu. Ayane pulls a chair and sits down, props her elbows on his table.

"Are you going to comfort me, Yano?"

"Eh? I thought I was _Ayane_."

"I've reconsidered my philosophy regarding names." He looks away and Ayane can't believe what she's hearing. An ironic echo—"love philosophy"—isn't what she needs, and she flippantly disregards her own thoughts, and very purposely ignores the way their minds match, like cut-outs.

"Is that so?"

There is a silence.

"Listen, Ken—no, that is, Miura-san." She searches for his eyes, hoping that he'll get that her using his surname is kind of _A Big Deal_. He meets her gaze reluctantly. "I think you are very misunderstood. I think it's best for you if you go talk to Sawako later. Make sure you can't be interrupted." A thought emerges: "Oh! Speaking of interruptions: don't try to interrupt them any longer, because I will make you regret it." He smiles slightly, and buries his head underneath his arms. "Tell her what you think of her. It's the only way you'll stop feeling like shit."

Miura raises his head, alarmed. Ayane rolls her eyes; sometimes she forgets that boys don't know she throws in occasional curses. She's been hanging around with Chizu _far_ too much…

"I … I thought I was being the nice guy." He lays his head against the table. "I thought she was going to be heartbroken. I didn't think Kazehaya …"

"No one did," she says, even though it was fairly obvious to anyone who watched. She's too gentle, sometimes.

"Not … Not even Ayane?"

"_Hah_? I'm not stupid like you. Let's not exaggerate," Ayane says, her voice very cutting—and Miura laughs. Genuinely, but a little weak.

"Thanks," he says, from under his hands.

"We're even now," she warns, and gets up, sets the chair back to where it was. "I owe you nothing now."

"You didn't owe me anything before," Miura tells her, and meets her eyes_. Stubborn idiot…!_ She looks away. "I was searching for my books."

_Of course you were_, Ayane thinks, and rolls her eyes once more as she walks away. His chivalrous behaviour is going to be her downfall one of these days—she's growing soft and pitiable. Chizu meets her, and very pointedly doesn't ask anything about Miura. She stutters when she talks (she's embarrassed, Ayane notices with a revolting flip of the stomach), and Ayane practically pales, dropping her voice to a hiss.

"We're_—not—_dating_, Chizu_."

"Ah! W-who said anything about that, Yano-chin!"

* * *

><p>They spend the following night working on the parade's costumes. When Ayane wakes up, it's five in the morning, and everyone around her is asleep. Sawako is holding her phone; Chizu is sleeping with her arms open around her, like a boy. Ayane gets up and heads to the bathroom, checks her eyeliner. She hasn't been using as much make-up as before. She's getting sloppy, just because she doesn't have a boyfriend. <em>Shame on you, Ayane …<em>

She stares at her nécessaire, and picks up her concealer. Does she really need it? Her skin has been great for quite a while. Maybe it's because she hasn't been stressed at all, or maybe it's because she doesn't use as much makeup nowadays. She puts the tube down again, and washes her face thoroughly; she might be ready to let go of her concealer, but she isn't ready to say goodbye to her mascara. That would be too big a step.

Sometimes Ayane wonders why she cares so much about her looks. When she analyses it deeply, she knows it's because most of the time, those are all she has. Chizu has her boyish behaviour and her joviality. Sawako has her purity and her niceness. And when beside them, a girl who is manipulative and too intelligent is second-rate. Ayane knows this. For some reason, she wonders if Miura feels the same, and then she beats herself up for thinking about him.

She puts on lipstick and purses her lips at the mirror. She looks _great_.

* * *

><p>"<em>Ah!<em> She's _hot_—"

"Isn't she?"

"No way, did we always have such pretty girls in our school!"

It's a certified fact that when a girl wears a yukata, her attractiveness goes through the roof. Moreover when it shows her legs. Ayane might not have tall legs like Chizu, but they're enough to attract the eyes of any boy who walks past. Joe and that Hisamatsu guy from 1-A (cute, but she doesn't usually go for younger guys) are not an exception to the rule. Nor are Miura and Ryu, who are propped against the wall, watching the girls run from one side of the corridor to the other. It's a panic inside the school; everyone is trying their best. It warms her ice queen heart a little. Just a little.

Ryu's eyes swim past her, then past Sawako (who is under Ayane's attentive care), until they settle on Chizu. It almost makes Ayane want to blush from the cuteness, but she's kind of already used to it, and she looks away, unaffected. She meets Miura's eyes, and he waves at her with a goofy smile on his face. She wants to wave back at him, wants to prove him that despite all he's put her through she is still fairly willing to be friends, but she's holding blush and concealer and mascara, so she just nods.

Sawako turns ghostly under her hands in less than ten minutes. Everyone is impressed—_whoa, she looks like Sadako! … Well, even _more_ than before_—and Ayane steps back, lets her have the spotlight.

"Sawako should wear makeup more often," Ayane says to her, and Sawako blushes. She's smiling like she's never smiled before, and Ayane has a nagging suspicion that Shōta is seconds away from jumping her, when he greets her. He's becoming too impatient, she can _tell_—

"You look very pretty," Miura whispers, from behind her, and Ayane feels her stomach jump, and feels something she hasn't felt in a long time—the embarrassing heat of her skin. She ponders if she should turn to thank him, and she—above all—feels confused, because just three hours ago he was moping as if his life was over, and now he's praising her? Is the power of a yukata that big, that it can turn heartbroken boys into refreshed lovers?

Ayane steels herself, and turns on her heel, ready to thank him, but—his eyes are fixated on Sawako. It's only when she stares at him, expectantly, that he notices she's there. He puts his hands in his pockets and greets her again. It's surprisingly sad to see him switch expressions.

"Ah, Ayane! I like your yukata," he says, like a classmate ought to, and relief meets disappointment.

"Thank you," Ayane says, bowing her head and walking away, aiming for Chizu. She feels stupid. She isn't sure why.

* * *

><p>The after-festival party is in the evening. She finds Pin drinking by himself and supresses the urge to sit beside him and make fun of him. Mainly because Miura gets to him first. For some reason—she's not stupid, okay, she knows she's fascinated by him, and only fools try making themselves immune to attraction—but <em>for some reason<em> (she tries to humour herself), she doesn't want to go there, so she sucks it up and makes small talk with Chizu and Ryu.

"Chizuru and Ayane!"

It's Miura. _Shit._ _When did he get here?_

"Looking lovely as always—hello, Sanada!" Ryu nods at him, bored. He hasn't left Chizu's side ever since the party began. Makes sense: there aren't many baseball club members here, and Ayane knows he wants to stay near Chizu. Just for a little while. They've been advancing at an alarming speed, and it surprises her because she's not even helping. She just hopes they won't crash and burn, with the speed they're going at.

"Hey, Kent! I challenge you to an arm-wrestling match! If I win, you buy me dinner!"

"_Ah!_ Don't you have Sanada for that kind of stuff?"

"But I can't win against him!"

"They're idiots," Ryu says, between two sighs. Ayane feels pressed to agree. "Speaking of which, Yano." He turns his eyes towards her, and if this wasn't Ryu, Ayane would think he was coming onto her. The thought makes her laugh, because although Ryu is too close, he has no notions regarding personal space. And Ayane doesn't really mind. He's a friend after all. "Are you and Miura dating?"

She feels her eyes widen, and she blinks. Turns to him completely, winning enough time to snatch a suited poker face. "Where did you get that idea?"

"Chizuru. She doesn't stop talking about you two. Yano-chi this, Kent that. It's becoming troublesome, so if you could talk to her instead of confusing her further—"

"There's nothing to be confused about. I'm not dating anyone," Ayane underlines, and becomes upset when she notices Chizu and Miura staring at them with concerned faces. Chizu makes to reach her, concerned, but Ayane just shakes her head: "Ahh, you've put me in bad spirits now, Ryu. Sorry, I'm going over there to cool off."

She goes downstairs, sits beside Pin, in the sand, and strikes friendly conversation.

"What are you doing here? Are you here to confess?" He plants his hands on the sand, leaning backwards. His legs are indelicately open; the bottle of sake (that he has in no doubt stolen from the restaurant's bar) is leaning against his leg. Ayane is slightly disappointed. She doesn't like the taste of sake. If it were beer, maybe … Maybe what? A teacher wouldn't give her alcohol. No, not even irresponsible Pin.

"You were just confessed to by a cute girl weeks ago and you are _still_ thinking about confessions? Are you alright in the head, stupid teacher?"

"Shut up, kid! Don't bring that up!" He looks around, and Ayane knows he's searching for Ume. "I'm the MVP—_most valuable player_! I deserve lots of _love-love_ confessions!"

She laughs, and doesn't even try to quiet down. "Your English sucks. How did you even become a teacher in the first place?" She adopts a knowing expression, frames her chin with her thumb and indicator. "Did you maybe … bribe someone to get a job?"

"No! Someone bribed _me_ to get me a job!"

Ayane thinks: _pfft, that doesn't even make sense_, but in the beginning of what would be a carefree laugh, she accidentally spots Ume in the crowd. Her good-mood dies in the back of her throat as she excuses herself, getting up and brushing her skirt clean of sand. Pin starts to speak: "Are you going to meet your boyfriend? Shameless student," he says, and she frowns. If she throws sand in his eyes, it's purely by accident.

She sets her sights on Ume once more, while Pin is telling her that she's going to die a painful and embarrassing death, pawing uselessly at his eyes, but she is long gone. The prospect of returning to Chizu and Ryu seems appealing now that she has cooled off (she has such a temper), but when she searches around the veranda, Miura is still there.

When she thinks about it, she doesn't really know why he insists on gluing himself onto her group.

For _once_, he has already realised that he isn't going to get Sawako.

For _twice_, he knows that Ryu isn't fond of him acting friendly with Chizu, even if the latter is starting to like him a lot. Ayane can tell when Chizu makes new friends, it's as easy as counting to four.

…

(In fact, Ayane has written those four steps in the sacred book:

1. Be a guy or be Sawako. Everything goes smoother when you're an easy-going guy, which Miura is.  
>2. Be friendly. Stupidly easy for <em>him<em>.  
>3. Be honest. Yeah, he kind of makes it a point to be honest to the point where it's kind of rude.<br>4. Don't be a pain in the ass.

They are four—very easy to follow—steps. But even so most guys don't meet the requirements. They don't realise that step four ("don't be a pain in the ass") is Chizu-code for "don't hit on me, ever, not even if I have a great body, and not even if I'm wearing a mini-skirt that looks amazing on me, okay!" And Miura isn't going to hit on her anytime soon. He might have been oblivious regarding Shōta and Sawako, but Ayane knows that he is aware about Ryu's feelings.)

…

And for _thrice_, Ayane doesn't really know what he's after now. When it was Sawako, well, that was easy to figure out. And she didn't even have to resort to butting in between them too often, nor did she have to convince someone to try and date him. Maybe that's why it feels like she hasn't won the match. Miura's beaten by someone other than herself. That would be Shōta. Ayane feels a little upset, because where's the fun in that? It was just too easy. … Wait, does this even make sense?

She climbs the steps, deliberately acting cool, and accepts the glass of juice Chizu hands her.

After that, Chizu apologizes for thinking she likes Miura, because _actually that's kind of silly, but Yano-chi is always talking to him and staring at him with these really intense eyes, and well, I know I'm not very good at this kind of thing, so—I'm sorry, Yano-chi! Please forgive me! Ahh, sorryyy Yano-chiiin—_cue the waterworks, cue the giggling sighs and the hugs, and cue the happy end between Ayane and Chizu. Ryu and Miura stare on the side-lines, definitely amused.

But it's too easy, and Ayane isn't convinced this is over.


	3. the ice is getting thinner

**A/N: **The two last chapters are amazing and have fuelled my writing!

* * *

><p><strong>03.<strong>**とま****だ****  
><strong>_And Yet_

The whole school is buzzing with rumours the following day. Ayane walks into class to find Joe acting out a sensationalized version of Shōta's confession (she walks out immediately after that, deeply, deeply disturbed, and she tries her best not to think about having held his arm during the New Year—ew, ew, _gross_). It's a wonder how the girl's bathroom is not yet flooded, with what all the tears spilled in there; Chizu continuously moans about not being able to pee because of all the people there, and Joe asks her if she has a shy bladder. To which Chizu replies with a careless nod, and to which Ryu replies with a bored glance. It might just be a bored glance, but the fact that he cares enough to raise his head and deny himself a few minutes of sleep is something many don't get to see.

She takes in the great atmosphere and almost feels pleased with herself.

It's an Almost Epoch. Ayane hasn't had an Epoch since her ninth grade. An Epoch, by Yano Ayane's standards, is: a period of time during which she becomes so happy for the people around her, that she stops caring about her current situation, be it bad or good. And this is definitely an Almost Epoch. An Almost Epoch, by Yano Ayane's standards, is: a period of time during which she becomes happy enough to almost forget about herself. The "almost" is the keyword. The "almost" of this Epoch is Miura Kento, that egotistical asshole.

She has all of this neatly written in her notebook. It goes something like this: with Sawako and Shōta paired up, and with Miura realising that he is not enough of a bad guy to ruin their very-recently cemented relationship, things are kind of done. All of Ayane's attention can be focused, then, on Ryu and Chizu, but for once she doesn't know if she wants to play matchmaker. She has pros and cons lined up, side to side, and it fills almost an entire page. And yet, she doesn't know if she should mediate between them. She has two jobs to attend for the time being: destroy the despising little morons who keep trying to harass Sawako without Shōta knowing (_yes, you stupid A-class girls, I'm talking about you_), or reply to the unanswered emails from Shōji on her phone.

She doesn't know why he's acting so interested in her all of a sudden. It's been three weeks since she declined his … his attempt at getting in her pants, she supposes? _What the hell, he didn't even confess to me_. And ordinarily this would not bother her in the least, but. While she is an expert at declining or accepting guys, she is in a bind here. For once, she didn't tell nor Chizu nor Sawako about him. She doesn't know why, she just didn't. Not even when Miura brought up the subject in front of Chizu.

And also, she has a witness to the accident that was Taka Shōji. Ayane is sure that if Miura hadn't chosen that moment to barge inside the classroom, she wouldn't have to reply to Shōji's emails anymore. Eventually, he would tire of chasing a girl that would not put out—but seriously, what the _hell_ is up with high school guys these days?—and the whole thing would blow over. But it's been two weeks, two weeks she hasn't replied to his messages, and yet, he still hasn't deleted her email.

Ayane isn't stupid. She knows that he isn't deeply in love with her; she knows there is something at play here, and she isn't going to pretend she doesn't know it. Despite her manipulative nature, which she just can't help, she dislikes acting dumb. No girl should act dumb, except when it suits her objectives. And Shōji isn't an objective. Shōji is, frankly, becoming kind of an obstacle, and Ayane is just _way_ too young to have a stalker.

* * *

><p>Eventually, she meets up with him. Mood: seriously pissed off. She hopes he can tell. He does. Nervously.<p>

"What do you want?"

Shōji—no, Taka wrings his hands and looks at his feet.

"I want to apologize to Ayane. I thought that maybe you were mad at me."

"Ah?"

"That is …"

She taps her foot against the wooden floor. Leaning against the wall, arms crossed, she's the perfect portrait of a girl who is fed up with a guy's shit. Ayane remembers her ex, and can't help the flash of disgust that smears across her face. The timing is not adequate, but she still can't help to ask herself: _when have I become so tired of trying to find a boyfriend?_ Okay, so she hasn't got a line of guys behind her, that's for sure, but she's dated far worse guys than Taka and she didn't dislike it at the time. What's changed? She really wants to know why she's starting to be bothered about dating someone who doesn't love her (who she doesn't love). Isn't that what she's been doing since her first boyfriend, though?

Why just _now?_ Why?

"Listen, Taka-san." When she calls him by his surname, his shoulders droop and she recognizes the agony of defeat on his face. Suits him. She is such a sadist. "I just don't think we are going to work. I'm sorry. Please delete my email address."

"I see. Sorry for taking your time." He rubs the back of his neck, and shifts his gaze from his feet to the stairways at his right. Grabs his cellphone, and bows down. For a guy who is after an easy, physical relationship, Ayane has to admit that he is acting very polite. She wonders what's changed since their last encounter. She wonders what makes him switch from desperate messages and near-aggression ("let's get together again, Ayane") to "I'm sorrys" and "okays".

By the time she returns to the classroom, she's five minutes late to her Modern Japanese class, and she gets the feeling everyone thinks she was getting confessed to. Chizu's raised thumb and the look of glorious admiration in Sawako's face don't help. Neither does Miura's attempt at pretending he isn't checking out her face.

Ayane definitely thinks everything is going too easily for her tastes.

* * *

><p>"So, so! Were you getting confessed to, Yano-chin?" Chizu asks, grinning. Ayane notices that the boys from the tables behind her lean in to listen better. She finds it funny, how blatantly crappy they are at snooping. On the other hand, it kicks her self-esteem up a notch, because this means she's interesting to snoop on.<p>

"So mature!" Sawako admires instantaneously. Her eyes are practically sparkling. Ayane can't help but to laugh.

"No, I was not. I just took too long coming from the bathroom. I lost track of time while I was fixing my makeup." That's a lie. She hasn't worn makeup for a week (eyeliner does not count, it brings out her eyes). It's kind of A Big Deal. She's been getting some Big Deals in the past days. It's rewarding. Refreshing. "Did everyone think I was getting confessed to? Am I really that interesting?" She laughs, strikes a pose. It's the easiest route out of a serious conversation; to joke.

"I think Ayane is very interesting!" Sawako says, and clasps her hands, looking slightly lost in her thoughts. Her cheeks turn red, and Chizu and Ayane trade a glance.

"Hey, Sawako-chan, who are you thinking of that is also very interesting?" Chizu asks, elbowing her softly. The girl erupts in shades of red, and starts stammering. And that's how Ayane shifts the attention from her to Sawako. Practically effortless, if she doesn't count Shōta's eyes on them suddenly. It's a low blow, sure, but she isn't in the mood to deal with unwanted attention from her peers.

"You can come over here, you know," she calls at him, and to her surprise, he doesn't blush like she thought he would. Instead, he just grins at her and walks closer, sitting next to them. "My, my, we have a tiny hint of progress, Kazehaya! You didn't blush—_ah_, never mind—"

"Yano-chin … is definitely a sadist," Chizu deadpans.

"Stop that, Yano!" Shōta retorts, face red.

"But it's so much fun to tease Kazehaya-kun," she answers, grinning even harder than Chizu (as if that's humanely possible). "Oh, Chizu, would you like to come to the bathroom?"

"Eh? But we just went—"

"The_ other bathroom_, Chizu."

"A-Ah! I see! Yes, okay!"

The two of them leave, and Ayane waves at the two lovebirds before closing the classroom door (Shōta is frowning at her). She feels something warm spill on her chest before she realises it's deeply-rooted satisfaction. She and Chizu laugh all the way to the bar, where Ayane has the pleasure to see her stuff her face with cakes.

* * *

><p>July reaches Ayane fast. There are new seat arrangements and Ayane high-fives Chizu because they stay side-by-side once more. She obligatorily teases Shōta about him staying far away from Sawako and next to Miura, but she thinks Miura will miss talking to Sawako in class. Feelings for her or not, Sawako still kind of likes the guy. She thinks about it a little bit, and then gives up; she can't think straight when she's this hungry.<p>

"Ahh, you're trying a new diet?" Chizu asks. "But why?"

"_Why_? You should know _why_, you're the one who makes me eat too much food! I've gotten fat!" is what Ayane replies, giving Chizu her best glare. Chizu's lips turn very thin as she bites down on them, trying not to laugh. Ayane glares harder at her. "That's why I'm trying a new diet! It's your fault! You are a food-eating machine, you … fatty, you monster!"

"Well," a chipper voice sounds from the stairs, "if it's any consolation, _I_ don't think you're fat, Ayane."

Chizu and Ayane stare at Miura while he climbs down the stairs. He's wearing an amiable smile. Ayane doesn't trust that smile, but Chizu immediately strikes conversation and starts edging him on, saying stuff like "no, no, Yano-chi is definitely fat", or "tell her she's like a whale". While she's laughing by herself, Miura stares at her. He doesn't even try to hide the course his eyes take over her body, and Ayane feels a little scandalized.

"No. Definitely not fat," he assures, and pats her shoulder before walking towards their classroom. Chizu is still laughing, so she misses the appalled-slash-nauseated-slash-_what-just-happened_ look on Ayane's face as she perceives that Miura Kento has just tried to console her. Miura—Kento—has—just—tried—to—console—her_. Miura Kento_. The guy who was dumped by _Sadako_ is trying to console her. This can't be happening. No. Ayane will not let this ungodly retribution slide past her.

"I am going to break him," she hisses, holding her newly-purchased bread so tightly, her knuckles turn white. Chizu very prudently stops laughing.

Adding insult to injury, Yano and Chizu notice that there are suddenly more couples. They notice it when Ayane decides to give Pin a little treat for being absurdly un-stupid during the festival. There are pairs everywhere, and … Chizu tells her to find a good guy.

"If it's Yano-chin, she should get a nice boyfriend."

"What's _that_ supposed—"

But Chizu bids goodbye to her before she can talk, because she—as always—has extra classes she needs to get more information about, and so Ayane decides to talk to Pin a little while. Just to spend some time. After all, talking to Pin is like an unearthly experience.

He always finds something more ridiculous to say, every time they chat. It's freaking hilarious. Only this time, _just because she doesn't need to_, she ends up having kind of a serious talk with him. It doesn't go as badly as she thought it would, because he doesn't lecture her about being a manipulative little scumbag. In fact, he pats her head before leaving, and he tells her she's kind. It's a little over the top, and although she feels her morale boost incredulously (because let's face it, Pin is a jerkface and a douchebag, but he's still a pretty cool guy when he shuts up before he can ruin everything he's just said), she can't help but to feel like everyone is conspiring against her.

"I am not kind," Ayane says, but Pin's already long gone.

First Miura consoles her about her weight, and then Pin consoles her about her personality. Is this supposed to mean that she is fat and/or a bitch? For the first time in ages, she skips the last class—supposedly to clear her head, but then the school bell rings and she's still feeling as confused and as vulnerable as before. She tries to tell herself that she doesn't do confused, nor does she do vulnerable, but god damn her if her poker face doesn't fall apart when she goes inside the classroom to fetch her bag, and trades an accidental glance with Miura.

* * *

><p>The only thing to do is—obviously—go out and spend her money on high-heels. Ayane loves high-heels. High-heels are to Ayane what post-breakup ice-cream is to other girls, weaker girls. Of course that when she makes this comparison, she kind of realises that she's depressed over what a colleague (ex-rival to top it off!) and a stupid teacher have said to her. And that's really pathetic; she's Yano Ayane, she doesn't get depressed over that.<p>

And yet.

She … _is_ getting depressed over that. It takes a turn for the worse when Chizu tells her she's going to help Ryu with his activity camp (something about judo or maybe archery, Ayane didn't really pay much attention), and when Sawako says she's going on a date with Kazehaya. Not that Ayane means any harm! Heck, Sawako has worked hard for this and she deserves it more than anyone else. And Chizu … Chizu is getting there, as well.

This makes for a very interesting chapter on her journal, but—for once—she doesn't want to spend a summer afternoon writing about other people's relationships.

For all Ayane has thought about loveless relationships and how they suck, she certainly would like to have one now, because she doesn't want to carry her bags. And she doesn't want to go shopping alone; where's the fun in that? _Ahh_, she sighs, and grabs her wallet. While she's out shopping for shoes, Sawako is in the planetary with Shōta. Ayane smiles as she leaves her house. She remembers her first trip to the planetarium: junior high, some kisses, a guy called …

A guy called … Yamamoto—no, Shino. No, wait. Was it Nobita … ?

She blinks and exhales.

She can't remember.

_Fuck_. Her chest collapses and her eyes close.

Ayane suddenly feels a whole lot more depressed, and she discards the idea of going shoe-shopping with a mood like _this_. The last time she went shoe-shopping after a bad breakup, she ended up buying ugly boots (black and purple leopard-prints, what in god's name was she thinking?). She purses her lips and decides to visit Chizu in school, instead. She is in desperate need of a mood fix.

There are rare moments in which she realises the reason as to why the rumours about her are so vicious. And in those rare moments, she feels like the person those rumours depict: a sex-starved man-eater with no sense of decency. Because … a person should never forget about a date with her boyfriend.

She stares at the sun—so she can blame the pricks in her eyes on something. She doesn't want to ruin her makeup.

* * *

><p>Chizu almost cries when she sees her. <em>Great<em>. Just, great.

"Yano-chin, this is horrible, it's torture, they treat us like slaves in here, they're slave-drivers, Yano-chin, and I am positive I am going to die, so you can have all my clothes, _oh_, but Sawako can have my collection of sports' figurines!" She says all of that in one sitting, and when she pauses to catch her breath, Ayane chuckles. "Is this payback for me calling you fat? Why did you all pay my entry in cram school? Yano-chin—is this because you don't have a boyfriend, Yano-chin?"

"You—you don't have one either!" Ayane shrills at her, surprised, grabbing her ear and pulling her down. For a best friend, Chizu has a penchant for saying the worst things at the worst times. Sure, Ayane knows she's kidding, but _ouch_. "Now suck it up and go study hard! Study, study! We'll still see each other in school, you idiot!"

Most people in cram school tend to forget that although they have classes in different rooms, they still get to see their classmates. Most people in cram school are stupid, like Chizu. But a good kind of stupid; the stupid that listens to the heart. For some reason, Ayane feels as if she misses Chizu a lot.

"Chizu," Ayane calls, before she leaves to have classes. When Chizu looks at her, Ayane throws her arms around her neck.

"Y-Y-Yano-chin!" she says, moving her arms around like she doesn't know where to put them. Ayane steps back and smiles at her. "What was that for? You—you scared me, Yano-chin!"

"I felt like it. Sorry."

And even though Chizu is stupid in a good way, she is also perceptive in a great way. She stares at Ayane intensely, measuring her, taking her in, and she fondles her chin thoughtfully. It makes Ayane want to laugh, but she doesn't. The taller girl grabs Ayane's hand and pulls her closer, giver a hard long look into Ayane's eyes.

"Are you suffering because of love?" she asks, but it's not so much a question as it is playful teasing. Ayane smiles at her.

It takes some effort.

"Isn't that your school bell ringing?"

Chizu promptly panics and says her goodbyes, running away, forgetting all about Ayane's lack of a proper response. Ayane stays put, watching the cram students walk inside the school, until she's the last one in the patio. She sits down on a bench, one that's under the trees so that she doesn't get sunburnt (getting sunburnt is the least classy thing that a girl can do in the summer, after all).

And yet … maybe it's because it's summer, or maybe it's because Sawako has a boyfriend and Chizu has one too (because _come on_ can they be more obvious? Everyone but Chizu has realised they are dating) … She can't believe she's the only one who's single. Especially because it's her; Ayane is supposed to be the most mature _and yet _she's depressed over the opinions of two morons—

"Hello, Ayane!"

For how much she prizes her cool façade, Ayane can't help the slight jump she gives when she hears Miura's voice. He greets her with a broad smile and sits next to her without asking. The last time she saw him comes to memory, and she will never be deemed responsible of the harsh leer she greets him with. _Why is this guy everywhere! This is eerie, no matter how I put it_. She kind of can't believe it, actually. It seems he has an ability to show up whenever she doesn't want him to. Which is … kind of all the time, yeah.

"Kent." Her voice sounds flat. "I was just leaving, actually."

"Ah? Really?" Miura sounds disappointed.

"Yes. I need to go home."

Home is the last place she wants to go to; she's alone, it's hot there because the AC is broken, and she doesn't really have anything to do. But she feels uneasy next to Miura. Miura is probably the only boy who told her to her face that she was fat, and while Ayane isn't conceited, she is still a girl, and she still has feelings—no matter how blank and expressionless her face might be, she can still pretty pissed at everyone. In this moment, she can't help but want to be a less talented actress. She doubts he will even understand that she's peeved at him for something he probably doesn't even remember.

"Well, I'll walk you home."

"Eh? You don't have to."

"The truth is, I don't have anything to do right now."

"Don't you have any friends you can hang out with?" She's not even bothering with being subtle.

"They're all in cram school. All my friends are stupid," he says, and laughs heartily. Ayane hasn't seen him laugh like that since before Sawako and Shōta started dating. She feels a little happier for him, but she still doesn't want him to walk her home. He gets up from the stone bench and shields his eyes. "Come on, I'll walk you home."

"Kent," she starts. Breathes. Tries her best not be offensive. "Why is it that you try so hard to be friends?"

He puts a stop on his childish demeanour and stares at her. It comes across as a little weird, because he has the sun shining on his face, so he's squinting. After a while, he gives up and closes his eyes, turns away from her with his hands in his pockets.

"It's been while since I've found a girl who isn't interested in me."

Ayane drops her gaze to his shadow. She is a little (a lot) disappointed in his response. "I see. Is that all? That is not a good basis for a friendship."

There are a few seconds silence.

"I like you, though." He is turning towards her now, paying attention.

She blinks, but doesn't waver.

"Excuse me?" Ayane asks. Her tone is calm although she wants to hiss at him; she does not, for one second, assume that he is talking about love. There is no use overreacting over a bad choice of words. She has learned that from watching Sawako and Shōta. Miura seems to realise what he's said after she talks, and his cheeks turn a little rosier. She is unfortunately reminded of when he told her he could see her underwear. She subtly touches her knees together. He doesn't notice. He's too busy panicking.

"Uh? Crap, I didn't mean it like that! I guess … I guess after all of this with Sadako-chan, I kind of … lost my touch talking to girls. Sorry. That was too vague, and could have been misunderstood. S-sorry." Miura runs a hand through his hair, completely nervous, and Ayane notices once more just how attractive he is when he isn't trying to plot anything against her. "What I mean is—I like you, and Chizuru, and Sanada, and even Kazehaya. And it's not just because of Sadako-chan anymore." There is a pause. "… I don't know if I'm making myself clear here, Ayane." _Throw me a bone, will you?_ is most likely what he wants to say. He's probably too scared of her to do so.

She sighs. "Fine. Just, just—stop freaking out. I can see where you're going with this."

"Ah, thanks!"

"And yet, there is a 'but', right?"

"… Yeah—but I'm not used to being with people who are so …"

"So respectable? Yes, Kent, we are decent people. We are not like your friends from your former class. We don't care much for popularity. We don't care if you can buy us lunch. We don't care if you date one or five girls. We don't pick out friends when they come in handy." She gets up and pulls out her phone, checks the time (and buys some). "I know it's easy to be friends with Chizuru, and I know that Ryu will not push you away if you talk to him. But I want you to realise that we are not replacements. Friendship doesn't work that way. I think you already know that I will stick up for any of them if you screw it up. Especially concerning Sawako and Chizuru." She brushes a hand over her skirt, force of habit, and straightens. "I'll be going home now."

"I'll walk you—"

"No." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "I'll be fine. Thank you."

Ayane walks away; Miura thankfully stays behind.

* * *

><p>It's only when she reaches home that the conversation really strikes her. She takes off her shoes and her heart beats in her chest. She shrugs out of her jacket once she gets to her room and feels the sweat on her brow (for once she's thankful that she's not wearing concealer, because <em>ew<em>). She sits on her bed and feels the heat radiating from her cheeks.

She hasn't been this nervous since her older sister caught her drinking.

Ayane doesn't know why she's so nervous. Maybe it's because she's just talked about her friends seriously for once, or maybe it's because she isn't used to talking down someone as popular as Miura. Or maybe it's because she poured her heart out to him. It pisses her off (greatly) that he thinks he can just waltz in their class with his asshole friend, and pretend he's their best friend. She blinks back angry tears. God, she hates her temper. She just … really hates her temper. She hates that she can lose it so easily. What about her cool demeanour? What happened to _that_? She's supposed to be the smart one of the group (although Ryu isn't too far behind), she's supposed to be the one with the heart of stone, the never-defrosting ice queen.

And yet—

_Fuck_. She's ruined.

Ayane gets up and washes her face thoroughly, until even the eyeliner is off, and then she lies down on her bed and stares at the ceiling. She calms down; she thinks. She can do this. Okay. _The problem with Kento is_, she starts. _The problem with Kento is…_ He wants to be friends with them? That's ridiculous. Why? He knows he isn't going to get anything out of Sawako. And Ayane knows him well enough that she can be sure that he isn't purposely going to hurt anyone.

And yet, she still doesn't get why he is so keen on joining their group.

And yet, she really wants to.


	4. heaven help me for the way i am

**A/N:** So from here on, this is _technically_ AU, since the manga's picking up fast and I can't keep up with it. There will be direct references to the manga, of course, because chapter 67 just _killed_ me (Kento/Ayane is totally canon, _you guys_), but everything from here on is pretty much Jossed. Hope you continue reading (and hopefully dropping me a review or two?)!

Side-note: it is my personal opinion that Ayane needs a sassy older sister. So. Yeah. I might have created one for her. Oops or no oops?

* * *

><p><strong>04. <strong>**ブロッキン****グ**  
><em>Blocking<em>

Ayane doesn't like the beach very much.

She doesn't know, then, what she is doing here, until she spots Chizu excitedly jumping around in her bathing suit. She sighs. Chizu can sometimes be her worst enemy. If not for Chizu, then Ayane would not have to be in the beach. But blaming her is stupid; after all, it's all Miura's fault. Miura, who suddenly remembered her part-time job (she wonders who told him, because she sure as hell did not). Miura, who suddenly remembered to ask them to go to the beach. And it's partly Sawako's fault too—if Sawako didn't come, then neither Shōta nor Ayane would have come, and Ryu … well, if Ryu didn't have his baseball training here, he would've probably come as well, just to see Chizu in a two-piece, but as it stands, he doesn't really get a choice.

But anyway:

Ayane doesn't like the beach a lot. She dislikes being in the sun for a long time, she doesn't like getting her clothes dirty with sand, and she doesn't like knowing that just behind her, in the seaside restaurant where she works at during the weekends, is her boss. What will he think of her when he sees her hanging out with a spastic tomboy that won't let go of her donut float for _nothing_?

Ayane offers to take care of their stuff while they go play. She's not the one to run around in the sand, so she sits down on a nearby table, and watches as Chizu breaks the spirit—and the arm—of at least one hundred high school boys. She looks happy, but then again she's surrounded by free food, so … She takes a lick out of her ice cream. She hasn't thanked Miura yet—both for the ice cream and for getting rid of the boys who were trying to pick her up.

It was kind of strange, when she thinks about it. So she's waiting for him (since Sawako and Shōta escape somewhere, and Chizu is running around challenging people); he's getting Chizu a coke. And some guys try to pick her up. Obviously, this isn't news for her (modesty aside, it's _kind of_ a very recurring event, she just has the face of someone interested). And there she is: getting ready to tell them off, when Miura sits down next to her, handing her an ice cream. She blinks, and catches him smiling at the other two guys. After that, they … run off immediately. And Ayane is at a loss … _Oh, okay, thanks, I guess—but you don't have to do that for me._ It's an awkward moment, and because of that she forgets to thank him for buying her an ice cream.

"How's the ice cream?" he asks, setting down the coke can Chizu never got around to drinking. Ayane takes another lick out of her dessert. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I brought you vanilla. You look like the kind of girl that likes it, Ayane."

"Ah? How so?" Is that a compliment or is she just looking too much into it?

"I don't know." He shrugs.

"Well, thanks for the ice cream anyway. I'll pay you back." She reaches for her purse.

"You don't have to," Miura says quickly. "It's a present, Ayane."

She blinks, and lets it go.

"Miura—that is, Kent. Would you like to explain your name philosophy to me once more? There's something I don't understand."

"You can call me Kento, you know. That's only fair, since I get to call you Ayane." Ayane looks away. 'Kento' is too intimate, she doesn't want to. Miura seems to get it; he shrugs and continues. "Well, like I said before, calling a girl by her first name is something natural for men. It's kind of … like a habit, I guess."

She sets down the ice cream for just a while. Watches it melt under the summer sun.

"Then, why is it that you call Sawako, 'Sadako'?"

"You shouldn't have to ask that." He's staring into the sea, and when Ayane follows his gaze, she meets with Shōta and Sawako. She suddenly feels aware of what he's talking about, and goes back to eating her ice cream. Any distraction is better than having a conversation about Sawako with Miura. _Damn it._ Ayane really thought they were over this business, but after all— "It's because it's a name that's said with love, right?"

Ayane licks a wayward drop of vanilla on the cone; still not looking at him. Having this kind of conversation with Sawako or Chizu is fine. Having this kind of conversation with Miura is strange, awkward, and it makes her want to leave. She gets the feeling that he's trying to compensate. Is this because she spoke seriously about her friends? If so … She clenches her jaw (temper, temper!).

"Are you…" she starts, but can't bring herself to finish. _Are you trying to make it up to me? _The mood suddenly becomes a little melancholic, and Ayane isn't enough of a bitch to walk away and leave him to his thoughts (although she feels tempted to). That is why, when he asks—"Can I borrow your shoulder?"—she just whispers, "Come closer."

It's strange. On one hand, it feels as if she's trying to comfort someone like Chizu, but on the other, he smells of perfume and boy shampoo. It takes her a lot of focus just to be able to bring the ice cream to her mouth again, because his hair tickles the side of her face, and his breath is on her collarbones, and—

She raises a hand and pats him on the head to disperse the ambient. Except she forgets this is not a boy she is going to date in the near future, and she runs her hand between his hair. His hair is soft, and she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy touching it. Miura doesn't complain—he has his eyes closed, and if she didn't know better, she'd assume he'd fallen asleep—so she keeps at it. It's surprisingly fun, and it's so soft that Ayane thinks she could touch it forever.

_Wait. What?_

She freezes, forgets to breathe (and, somehow, she can still smell his shampoo), and realises that this is her former arch-rival and he's just a friend and _oh no why did she have to go and forget that he is off-limits, she isn't supposed to date him at all—_Ayane inhales, lets her hand drop to her thigh, limply. She focuses on the rest of her ice cream. The shock is still making her whole nervous system malfunction. She feels the tips of her fingertips pulse in time with her heart.

Ayane doesn't understand why she gets so nervous around him. Look, okay, she's already admitted that he is in fact very pretty, but the truth is she doesn't really feel anything for him (like that's news, right?). Ayane feels nothing for no one, that's how she is. She's had this talk with herself before. She's stopped expecting things out of boys she's attracted to, because she's crashed and burned too many times to count.

Miura shifts, opens his eyes. Sawako and Shōta have relocated to the left, and for a little while, there is a flicker of hope that perhaps he will sit up again, and everything will return to normal, but he just keeps his head on her shoulder. They stay that way until Chizu gets bored and gathers them all up so they can go home.

Chizu stares at her through the whole train trip back, but Ayane pretends not to notice.

* * *

><p>School starts again and Chizu's skin is almost honey-coloured. Ayane wants to say she looks pretty, but what comes out is—<p>

"You look ridiculous! Your face is _totally_ sunburnt," Ayane notices, with the slightest of smirks. Chizu's cheeks are perpetually red these days; courtesy of her lack of sunblock. "You look like a yakuza," she adds, then, and needs to cover her mouth to avoid laughing at her.

"Shut up!" Chizu says, frowning, and then cringes. "It hurts, Yano-chi—"

"Suits you just fine for not listening to me!"

"What! How can you be so cruel!"

They are easing back into their rails, gradually. If Chizu has any suspicions regarding Miura, she doesn't show it—and Ayane prefers it this way. What is she supposed to say to a girl who is so inexperienced, so raw to love? It's not like she can speak for herself, of course; Ayane has never felt the prick of adrenaline while in the middle of a confession, nor has she blushed at the thought of holding hands. How terrible! She's so cold.

Sometimes, when she's catching her train home, she sees Miura, on the other side, but she takes care to pick a different partition (and she also hides behind the station pillars, because there is no end to the feeling she is feeling—feeling which is yet unknown, but terribly powerful). Does this mean she is a terrible person, or just a coward? Ayane wants to know, wants to know how to differentiate herself from the people she hates, but at the same time, she wants to remain ignorant and – supposedly – blissful.

Supposedly.

* * *

><p>Her Almost Epoch is reduced to shreds a short time after that, and it's not only about Miura this time. It's everything at once:<p>

One—people keep talking about her; there are small groups of girls who silence obviously when she walks by. She wonders if it's about Shōta, and then remembers she has been seen with Miura often. Too often, by anyone's standards, and it doesn't help that her last _thing_ (if that) ended badly. Just her appearance fuels hundreds of theories – she's a bartender, a hostess, a teen prostitute, she has at least five sugar daddies – so she doesn't need the dye of yet another failed relationship on her résumé.

Two—she's losing time (and patience) to update her journal, and that makes her feel terrible about herself. Now that Sawako and Shōta have – somewhat – stabilised, what is left for her to improve? She's decided she is no longer going to butt in in the "Chizu versus Ryu", because even though she wants to, she knows that Chizu's head is a mess right now, and she doesn't want to be blamed for any mishaps.

Three—her Math grade goes down the drain because she is unable to focus on stupid square roots and second degree equations, just because Miura was seated next to her during the test.

This is so not cool. It's not even funny anymore.

"Let's go karaokeing!" Chizu says after Household, a small stain of chocolate on her cheek. She looks torn between smiling and crying, because even though she had Sawako's notes, she had the lowest grade in the class.

"No," Ayane says, firmly, putting away her notebooks, "I'm going to study. You can come with if you want to."

"Study?" Chizuru cries, like it's a foreign concept. "We just finished this round of tests, we should go partying! _Yano-chiiin_!"

"Didn't you hear what Shigeru-sensei said?" She huffs impatiently when Chizu shakes her head, confused. "Figures. He's doing another test this Friday."

"Aaaah!_ What?_"

"It's optional, so calm down. Well, no, not optional for you, since you flunked, but I'm going to take it anyway. I had a horrible grade."

"You had a seventy-two," the other girl replies dryly.

"Precisely."

And that's the end of that.

* * *

><p>Subjects C and R are avoiding each other. Well, no. Subject C is avoiding Subject R; Subject R is simply letting her be. For now there is no possible upgrade when it comes to their relationship. Ayane'll leave them be. For now.<p>

Subject K and Subject S are stable and therefore do not require her attention or expertise. She still keeps an eye out for Subject Bitch—err Subject U. Just in case.

Subject M has been seen loitering around the cafeteria during lunch hours, hanging out with his Other Fiends—err, Friends. He has been reticent about sitting with the group. Ayane has the nagging feeling that he is avoiding them. Well, no. She has the feeling he's avoiding her, all of a sudden. She doesn't really get why. Err, well, she _knows_ why—

* * *

><p>"Do you mind if I study with you?"<p>

Ayane closes her journal—no, her documentation, with a startle, accidentally spilling her pencil case in the process. Miura stares at her, a little confused, a little amused, and Ayane stashes her documentation inside her bag, feeling her face heat.

"No," she manages, nodding towards the chair on her front, a subtle request of 'don't stand so close to me'. "Go right ahead."

"I overheard you talking to Chizuru in class. Sorry."

"It's alright," Ayane manages, cleaning up after the pens and pencils splaying across the table. She hates herself for being so awkward and self-conscious in that moment, but still takes control.

Miura sits down calmly, arranging his things on top of the table, and Ayane continues playing with her calculator, dutifully ignoring him until she notices he's trying to get her attention. "Yes?" She sets the calculator down.

"I don't think you're fat."

Ayane's eyes widen; she barely avoids choking.

"_Excuse me_—"

"No, I—wait!" he exclaims, flustered, and the teacher behind the counter gives him a harsh glare. He bows down clumsily and returns to staring at the table. Ayane almost thinks it's adorable, and then remembers what the conversation topic is about. She frowns at him even though he can't see her. "I meant—I told you before that you weren't fat when you were talking with Chizuru. And I thought that maybe—you had … misunderstood. What I said, I mean. I just," he straightens just barely, staring, probably just checking if she's taking this talk the wrong way like she did before, "I wasn't making fun of you. I wanted you to know." And then he breathes in and blushes and says, his eyes on hers, "I think you're … fine."

Ayane feels her stomach skip. _Shit, did I forget eating?_ She averts her gaze from his and forces a teasing smile, just because she is Ayane and therefore unaffected by any accidental flirting. For god's sake, she's not Shōta! And yet she's still feeling her cheeks warm and her stomach flip. No. This is just a fever. She is sure.

"I just wanted to clear things up," he says, after a silence in which it is painfully obvious that he is expecting her to say something.

"Thank you," Ayane says, smooth and smirking a little.

"You're welcome," Miura replies, back to his easy-going self so fast she is almost a little suspicious, until she remembers that he is almost as good as her at pretending (she makes a mental note not to keep underestimating him, because that is what she's been doing).

She finds out, with some surprise, that he is great at Math.

* * *

><p>Subject M has returned to hanging around the group once more. Ayane believes Subject C and Subject M are becoming palsy, because there is no way in hell that he would have noticed Ayane getting pissed off at him for the Fat Incident on his own. She has investigate this further, of course. (Research Subject R for clues about what he thinks regarding C and M's sudden friendship.)<p>

Subjects K and S have been stable the whole week, almost dully so. She notices that there is a greater distance between them when they walk ever since they got back from their field trip. Should she help or not? Her instincts tell her she should stand-by. More interferences will probably just rouse Subject K further. He is very stubborn, after all.

She's hoping the future field trip to the aquarium will give her some more leverage on this. Maybe she should lock subjects S and K inside a room and find another place to sleep. This is something to be seriously considered.

* * *

><p>Ayane bribes Pin with services.<p>

"I'll copy the attendance logs for you if you give me the detailed day plans for the aquarium," she says, crossing her legs as she sits on his desk. Pin raises a questioning eyebrow, and she knows he is trying to figure out what is best for him. "I'll throw in cleaning duties as well."

"You're a terrible student," he says, mock-indignation seeping out of his every pore. "What do you want the plans for?"

"Curiosity."

"Right. Curiosity." Pin gives her a strained look, like he's trying to look past her skin, and then nods. Ayane begins to smile, but: "Help out with the haunted house project for the festival and I'll give them to you."

"What haunted house?" Ayane asks, narrowing her eyes.

"The haunted house our class is going to make."

"I heard rumours about a class café," she says, icily, "not a haunted house. Why are you asking?"

"Because I want a haunted house!"

"Ah? We're not going to make a haunted house just because you want us to! Think of the class before you think of yourself!" She sets her foot down, lips facing downwards. "Besides, you can't _stand_ ghosts, you big baby."

Pin flushes red, his eyes wide. "_I don't—! _That's a _lie_, you _terrible_ student! I am not afraid of ghosts. The great Pin is not moved by anything!"

"Pfft. Please." She waves her hand, smirks a little. "We're doing the class café."

"You wish! You're doing the haunted house!"

"Excuse me! Class café!"

"Haunted house, I said!"

* * *

><p>Ayane doesn't manage to get the plans for the visit, on the account of arguing with her moron of a teacher. It gets her frustrated – a <em>lot<em> frustrated – so she spends her night talking trash about him. Chizu, on the other side of phone, sighs a lot, but doesn't complain about anything. She's patient, god bless her.

"Am I being too pissy?"

"… Just a little."

"Liar."

"Well, yeah, you _are_, but you're _right_. Pin is a butt head and a stubborn moron, but somehow I don't think you're all that mad at him. Did … something else happen?" Her tone is tentative. Ayane pinches the bridge of her nose.

"I … I don't know. Maybe." She falls onto her bed, lets out a long, drawn sigh. "Miura thinks I'm hot."

There is a silence.

"Okay. So…?"

"So this is awkward!"

"What, you only realised it now?" Chizu sounds surprised. "I thought you knew that right from the start!"

"I—of – of course I knew it!" she lies, feeling the heat rush straight to her cheeks. "But now it's official! Now I know because he told me! Those are different things. This means he knows I know." She groans in frustration. "And now he knows I know he thinks I am hot, and now he'll know every time he looks at me, and I'll know that he's thinking I'm hot and—"

"I think you're making this far more difficult than it needs to be," Chizu replies. Ayane can't see her, but she's almost sure that the other girl is rolling her eyes. "So what if he thinks you're hot? Half the guys in our school think you're hot."

_But they are nameless and unimportant and think all kinds of things about me_, she thinks, and plays with the end of her baby-pink sheets. They are tacky and childish and feel like a reflection of her current state of mind. She frowns at them and grits her teeth.

"Ayane… Do you … maybe think that you are falling for Kent?"

She chokes on her spit and laughs at the same time. Her older sister shouts "shut up" from the ground floor. "Of course not, don't be ridiculous," she says, off-handedly. "It's just … really troubling."

"You sound like Ryu." Chizu sounds dead-serious. "That's not a good thing."

Ayane holds her tongue about Chizu and Ryu and everything else, and hangs up with an absent, "I have to go; my sister is calling me for dinner."

If Chizu notices it's far too late for dinner, she doesn't say anything.

* * *

><p>The next day at school, she wears a scarf, because it's autumn now, and she doesn't want to get a cold. It's pretty and fashionable and fluffy and warm, and—<p>

"I bet she's wearing it to cover up a hickey," one of Kent's fangirls says, when the whole group is powdering their nose, crowding around the bathroom sinks. Her tone is not petty or mean, just a little curious and playful, but Ayane, inside the stall, busy with fixing her shirt, flushes to the tips of her ears, the bottom of her stomach sinking.

She gets stared at for the rest of the day, and flat-out refuses any physical contact with Miura.

"Did something happen?" he asks, when the lunch bell rings, a little hurt, a little confused, staying behind on purpose. Ayane knows; she's seen him shuffling about, putting his notebooks away with a startling slowness.

"Nothing concerning you," Ayane snaps, irritated and mean and everything they say she is, and murders the flinch threatening to rise when she catches his expression. The next second, she's out the door, shutting it closed with a bang, running through the crowded hallway, trying to stay in control.

Trying is the keyword.


End file.
